Heavenly Father, look down on your humble tourists who travel this earth mailing postcards, walking around in drip-dry underwear, carrying arms full of souvenirs.
We beseech you that our plane be on time, that we receive our very own baggage at each stop, that our over-weight baggage go unnoticed, and the customs officials are always understanding.
Lead us to good inexpensive restaurants where the wine is included in the price of the meal and the coffee is not too strong to drink.
Give us the strength to visit museums and cathedrals but if we skip historic monuments to take a nap after lunch, have mercy on us for our flesh is weak.
Protect our wives from bargains they don’t need and cannot afford, lead them not into temptation for they know not what they do.
Save our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us. Save them from making fools of themselves in hotels and on ships and please do not forgive them their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.
And when our voyage is over and we return to our loved ones, grant us the favor of finding someone who will look at our photos and listen to our stories. We ask this on behalf of all airlines, hotels and ships at sea and all wonderful, understanding natives who took the time to help.
Amen
[Every petition in this prayer is one that I could have uttered at one time or another, and in every case I have received divine guidance whether or not I deserved it.]
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